


Be My Lighthouse

by juvjuvychan



Series: Healing [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Implied Relationships, implied attempted non-con, not-skyward friendly, nothing with the main characters, potentially triggering content, the non-con is simply alluded to, triggering content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 20:30:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2481425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juvjuvychan/pseuds/juvjuvychan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skye has changed a lot since SHIELD disbanded officially-unofficially.  She keeps her heart rate under control, breath in and out she can keep control no matter what.  Except around him.  Skye can feel it with trembling clarity; his dark eyes that follow her.  It scares her, but she'll never admit that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be My Lighthouse

**Author's Note:**

> This is becoming a 'verse where I just try to heal all the MCU characters haha. I'm really enjoying Skye/Trip I hope they get together on the show cause, yes. I probably made a ton of mistakes cause this is quick and messy so.

Skye’s fingers flickered like lightning across the keyboard. The clacking resonating in the still air like ripples on a lake. She was in a world of her own. Words, numbers, symbols flashing before her eyes screaming an answer at her she still couldn’t figure out. 

It was driving her insane. Skye blew out a frustrated breath of air hands trembling with a concealed need to slam her sore palms on the ink black table top. Skye pushed her fingers through her hair in a rough jerk as if she could pull the answers out of her head by force. 

Skye blinked, and saw two dark eyes staring back at her. 

“Damnit,” she said forcing the image away with a jerking shake of her head. She clutch her hands to her chest in an effort to halt their sudden shaking. 

“Someone’s having a good night,” Skye turned as Trip made his way across the room with an easy stride and relaxed shoulders. “It’s late,” he said handing Skye a steaming cup of something. She breathed in, the caffeine mocha already making her feel more awake and less jittery. Trip sat down in one of the chairs next to her, but doesn’t ask what she’s doing. Instead drinking what smelled like hot cocoa and leaning back relaxed against his chair. 

Skye bit her lip. “You’re….not gonna ask what I’m doing?” The question rolled tentative and careful off her tongue. Trip merely shrugs his board shoulders in response. 

“Figured you’ll tell me if you want me to know.” He said easy and open. Smile curling up on his face like a cat in the sun. Everything about him is warm and open. There’s no secrets about him, he is utterly without mystery and Skye found herself comforted by it. 

“I…” she licked her lips, a flash of needed moisture to gather her thoughts. “I’m not even sure what I’m doing.” She groaned as Trip laughed not unkindly watching Skye smack her head on the table. She looked up at him from beneath her brush of bangs and glared. “Don’t laugh at me.” She said knowing she sounded like a two-year-old. Trip laughed again and Skye found herself smiling unconsciously. 

“Here I was expecting some grand dramatic answer and you go ahead and lay one on me like that.” Trip is still chuckling as he leans forward resting his elbows on the table. He kept his distance, he always has. Never infringing on Skye’s space, or even offering her a friendly unassuming pat on the shoulder. Skye is grateful for the distance; or rather, the respect it implied. 

“You’re really something, Skye.” Skye lifted her head up, eyes widening as Trip stares at her. His eyes mischievous and honest in a way so few people are, especially in the spy business. There’s a light there Skye wants to catch and keep so she can bask in it whenever she pleases. 

Skye looks away, spots of heat bubbling on her cheeks. Shame creeped up in her belly, remembering the last time she felt this way. She closes her eyes, and the dark eyes return threatening to catch and consume her until nothing is left. 

Skye shuddered. 

“Hey,” Trip’s voice pulled her back, a lifesaving in an ocean of deceit that has her frantically trying to find a way back to shore. There’s no light out here though, no lighthouse to guide her home. Just her, a castaway like the rest of them trying to figure out where they stand in the vast emptiness that’s surrounding them. “Hey,” Trip repeated still not touching her. Skye peered up at her, catching his eyes on the line with hers. 

“Thanks,” she found herself saying. Trip looked less alarmed but his smile is gone and Skye finds herself sad that she’s the reason it disappeared. “Sorry.” Trip blows out a breath that skittered across the table like a bushel of feathers in the wind. 

“Skye,” he started sounding unsure which is so unlike Trip. “Skye you don’t have to be okay you know. You don’t have to talk to me, but you should talk to someone.” Trip finished reaching his hand out across the table. An offering, nothing more. Skye feels immensely grateful at the gesture. 

But she can’t. 

“I can’t,” the words choking the air with the stench of regret and longing. 

“Why,” Trip counted without missing a beat. 

Skye shakes her head because she can’t - she can’t. “I’m not - I’m a field agent now. I’m not - I don’t need.” The words choke her throat with two cold hands slicked with red drowning her in their sea of madness. 

“You can ask for help. You should.” Trip said with such sincerity Skye can’t help but believe him even though she can’t. 

“I can’t,” she repeated feeling her eyes well up. Damnit, she’s better than this, Skye thinks as she frantically scrubs the salty water away. 

“Skye,” she looked up at him, as he sat in his chair like a river rock. Unmoving, smooth from constant beating but the jagged edges of who he once was still exist underneath. Skye can see it in a way she’s never been able to before. “It’s alright.” 

“How?” The question slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it. That’s what Skye hasn’t been able to comprehend for the last few months. How. How could SHIELD fall like it did? How could HYDRA have infected it like a virus like it had? How could he have betrayed them like he did? Skye can’t even bring herself to say his name, not even in the comfort of her own thoughts. 

“Because it will be, with time.” Trip answered so sure Skye wants to believe him more than anything. There’s a lapse of silence before Trip broke it by asking frank and blunt, “what are you scared of Skye?”

“I’m not,” her answer is knife sharp and lightening quick. It rings out false in the air. 

Trip merely shrugs as if they both don’t know she’s lying. “I was scared,” Trip admitted without shame. “When things went down. Just me and Simmons, not knowing who was HYDRA and who wasn’t. Not even if we could trust each other. Girl was scared at her mind.” They both laugh at that. “Hand had cornered us, claiming to be HYDRA, threatening to kill us if we weren’t.” Trip locked his eyes onto Skye’s, trapping her in his gaze. “I told her to do it, because I’d rather be dead than be a HYDRA fuck.” Trip chuckled, “not in so many words of course.”

“Of course,” Skye echoed giggling along. There’s a pause before she asks, “and you were scared?” 

“Well yeah, I thought for sure I was going to die. Hand had a mean poker face.” The twist of Trips’ lips is bittersweet as they remember their fallen teammate - and just who pulled that trigger. “I had a cousin at headquarters when shit went to hell,” Trip explained surprising Skye. She didn’t know he had any other family in SHIELD, but given his grandfather was a Howling Commando Skye shouldn’t be to surprised. “Said when things were on the edge, when the helicarriers were just about to be launched and Captain America made his speech, she said she’d never been more scared in her life.” Trip leaned back with a close of his eyes. “Said there was this little IT guy, the kind of guy who either works at NASA or an Apple store, but chosen SHIELD of all places. In control of the big red button but he didn’t press it. Not after Captain America’s speech, not against the Captain’s orders she said. Even when Rumlow,” he stopped, “you know Rumlow?”

Skye nodded, she’d read the file, seen the picture. He reminded her of an older Wa - well. 

“Yeah, so Rumlow’s got a gun to the back of this guys head, threatening to blow his head off if he doesn’t press the button and Sharon said the guy was about to piss himself he was so scared.”

“What’d she do?”

Trip laughed, “What Sharon always does, steps the fuck up and puts a gun right back in Rumlow’s face with a snarky quip to boot.” Trip rubbed his face. “Said she was scared out her damned mind.” Trip’s eyes took a far off look as if reliving a memory that wasn’t his. Skye realized he must have been scared too, locked in a room with no idea who was an ally and who was an enemy. While his cousin was in the thick of it, right at ground zero and he couldn’t even get to her if he tried. 

“So you see Skye,” he said facing her, “it’s okay to be scared we all are. Even the best of us.” Trip smiled and got up from his chair. He cracked his back, arms stretched above his head pulling his shirt up just a bit. Skye watched and allowed herself too. Trip gave her one last smile before turning away and Skye pounced at her chance. 

“I’m scared.” She said in a mad rush. The dam broken and now it’s all falling out; raindrops soaking the ground and dying it reddish black at her feet. “I’m scared of what these symbols mean, of how Coulson is closing himself off, of what I am.” She choked, a thick sob clogging up her throat. Skye swallows it down and pressed on. “I’m scared of - of - Ward.” She choked the name out. It burned like a ball of hot coal on her tongue leaving the aftertaste of ash in her mouth. “I’m so scared of him but I can’t let him know that. I can’t let the team - May or Coulson - know that. I’m suppose to be better.” Tears come but she doesn’t bother wiping them away because Trip said it was alright didn’t he? To be scared; and Skye hasn’t allowed herself to feel scared and honest for so long. 

She feels ripped open and raw; infected from the inside out by his eyes that threaten everything about her and Skye wants it out. Wants to be purged of the looks he still gives her when she’s forced to pump him for information, or the kiss they shared and the feel of his breath on her face. It makes her ill to think about, and dirty all over. 

“When we went after Garrett, he was there. And he - he,” she swallowed Trips back still turned away as if he knows she can’t say this to him face-to-face. He probably does. “He came out and he said he’d take what he wanted. Wake something up inside me like I did him.” Skye started to shake, an icy chill settling in her bones as she remembers everything in vivid detail. “He still wants me, I can see it when I see him. He looks at me as if I can save him. I feel like a thing when he looks at me. Something he wants to - to consume or something I can’t.” Skye stopped because she can’t keep going. There’s nothing left inside her but broken bits and pieces kept locked up tight with missions and tasks of rebuilding SHIELD. 

She can hear Trip walk closer, but he still doesn’t touch her. Just offers the heat of his body to her, an open invitation if she wants to take it. Skye does, finding herself pressing her face against his chest and just crying. 

“Who’s to stop him?” She asked fingers curled into Trip’s shirt; shaking. “Who’s to stop him if he comes to take what he wants?” 

Trips’ hand rest on her shoulders. “We are.” He pushed her away just enough to look into her eyes red-rimmed as they are. “I am.” He brought a hand up to wipe away at the tear tracks on her face. “You are.” Trip pulled her back into, this time wrapping his arms around her; cloaking her in his steady warmth. 

“Thank you,” Skye said though the words feel limp compared to what she’s feeling. Trip doesn’t say anything in reply, instead he stroked her hair gentle and careful in case she wants him to stop. Thank you really doesn’t describe what Skye is feeling at the moment in Trip’s arms. It’s on the edge of something more that she’s not ready to admit to yet. But she knows that Trip won’t push, or press and that makes Skye want it all the more. Later, in time, it’s alright to be scared she thinks. To be afraid to fall off the edge of this cliff they’re on, but when they do, she knows she’ll be safe. 

Skye closes her eyes, and for once, darkness doesn’t stare back.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh as for Sharon being Trip's cousin, fun comic book fact. Peggy Carter (Sharon's Aunt) and Gabe Jones (Trip's grandfather) were together romantically in the comics. So while it's still just fan speculation that in Agent Carter Peggy's husband will be Gabe (gosh i hope so) I decided to add it in here. Because it would be awesome for Trip and Sharon to be cousins/related even if it was just through marriage.


End file.
